A Simple Thing Called Love

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights
I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
~~Now I know that it was worth it~~
With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

Coz you leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender my everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

You leave me speechless (the way you smile, ~~the way you touch my face~~)
You leave me breathless (it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless (the way you look at me)
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

Speechless - The Veronicas

this song is so true.
it explains how i felt about her.
but then again, its all over.
seeing her face in my phone, seeing the sweets and chocs she gave to me.
it all brings back fond memories.
~~and im having doubts now.~~
~~have i really forgotten her?~~

11:19 AM

i miss blogging.
i miss my tablet.
hmm..
this week was pretty unproductive.
nothing happened between us.
im juz like anyone else to her now.
its all over larh.
ive forgotten her and moved on.
to begin with, there was nothing between us in the first place to end it.
so yeah, i made a serious, serious effort to forget her.
and there, its done.
so now, shamini can talk to her, she can talk to shamini.
im not gonna say anyth, or feel jealous.
she can talk to any fat bitches arnd and i wont give a damn.
i didnt see her even once on friday.
and here i am, still happy. (:
i knw what she was wearing but i didnt record it dwn in my diary.
thats a huge improvement man.
common tests results were so sucky man.
i dont knw what happened.
i mean, i did study larh.
but i cannot deny that my focus was not on academics.
anw, its all okay now.
so i should be improving.
i'll forgive myself and give myself another chance.
its a tough thing to do, forgiving myself.
ive always had probs doing that.
on a lighter note, valentino is talking to me again!
haha, okay im so not falling for a guy like how i fell for her.
anw its too soon to love someone else.
im freed from love, finally.
~~(shamita, stop kidding yourself.)~~

20 August 2006

5:16 PM

okay my tablet is so screwed.
gotta han it over to the TA tmrw.
but the thing is i cant log in to the system to change my password.
and i gotta give them my password, which i so do not want to.
we'll see how it goes tmrw larh.
anw, im feeling so much better tdae.
cousins came over and they cheered me up. (:
but i still do feel embarressed abt seeing her tmrw.
and still cannot sleep well.
i keep tossing and turning in bed.
did some hmwk juz now.
amaths is so damn difficult man.
and i did english and emaths hmwk.
daddy says he loves my handwriting.
he says my handwriting looks like its been typed out.
haha. duh, i put in so much effort to write beautifully.
i miss my tablet!
please dont tell me the system crashed.
i really want all my pictures back.
watched BOO juz now.
haha, quite scary.
oh yeah.
nowadays i keep dreaming abt H.
all nice dreams man.
in my dream last night, she took my hands and wrapped it arnd her waist.
haha, i knw its kinda impossible to happen.
at least im experiancing it in my dreams.
hehs.
im crossong my fingers abt tmrw.
please let things go well.

19 August 2006

4:59 PM

woke up this morning and dragged myself outta bed.
went to the mirror, stared at my face.
my eyes were reddish, my face was pale.
went back to bed again and remained there.
tossed and turned in bed, thinking of her.
till hazie called.
then got up and went to call her back.
shes having probs too.
and she started crying while i was on the line.
the tears welled up in my eyes again.
laughed off my tears.
then locked myself in the room.
and i reflected on things.
had some time for myself, finally.
and i realised that ystrdae, i wasnt myself.
waiting for her all alone, asking her to c___ me.
it was juz the wrong time for her to c___.
she did so when i was already crying.
and in tht unstable state i was in, i asked her to c___ me again at night.
and i dont wish to elaborate anymore.
or else im gonna end up crying again.
ive been trying to relax and enjoy myself a lil.
been reading magazines and going to the library later.
i seriously need to loosen up a lil.
okay thr is this stalker person who juz added me on msn.
claiming to be her.
haha. please larh.
a lot of prank calls and msgs nowadays.
dnoe whats happening man.
dont feel like seeing her on monday.
im really embarressed.
whatever i told her, it so wasnt me.
so hafta apologise.
haiz. its so complicated.
each time the phone rings, i'll reach out to get it, hoping that its her.
and all this when i already knw it isnt gonna happen.
no point talking about it larh.

18 August 2006

10:55 PM

a dangerous obsession;
an uncontrollable passion.
all i rmb is crying.
went to sch tdae, feeling utterly miserable.
then kept thinking abt her.
when i was gonna see her and stuff.
i was so moody throughout.
creative writing course was okay.
then stayed in sch waiting for the moon.
ahems.
juz didnt have the heart to leave larh.
2 days is not a short time.
then juz stood thr staring at tht place whr i always look.
and then she came.
so i juz walked off larh.
we spoke and stuff.
she was so beautiful.
when i look at her, it feels like im getting lost in a world so beautiful.
ive never lied to her and i never will.
she can trust me.
well, i actually didnt mind waiting for the moon till 8 plus.
but the moon didnt wanna go back with me and wanted me to leave.
so i left, though i didnt want to.
at least i saw the moon. (:
but she broke my heart and left me in tears.
after that, she c_____.
and i was so happy.
but i knw she c_____ me to check if i left.
i was so emotional during the train ride back home.
talking to hazie while the tears juz flowed.
so she happened to c____ when i was in tears.
and guess what?
in the state tht i was in, i asked her to do some stuffs.
stuffs that arent impossible.
but she isnt gonna do it.
so she broke my heart once again.
whatever i told her was so wasnt me.
though i did want it.
anw, thr is another 2 more days, 48 hours and 2880 mins to go.
btw, i cried so much tdae.
its like i cried buckets full of tears.
right now, my eyes are aching so much.
i think i need some sleep.
but i'll wait for her c____.
smth thats most prob not gonna happen.

17 August 2006

11:04 PM

common tests are finally over.
i knw i flunked chemistry man.
but at least hazie knws i studied.
coz we studied tgther for chem.
anw, coming to today.
in the morning was okay.
happy and stuff coz she spoke to me.
and even recommended authors. (:
and saw her while coming to school too.
im so blinded by your beauty love.
things were okay until she called shamini.
i felt like an idiot watching them talking.
i juz didnt want her to touch shamini and stuff.
yes, im jealous.
so what now?
i mean, i like her so much, so what else do you expect?
so i juz stood there watching, hurting myself more and more.
i didnt want to see but i couldnt leave either.
this love is so complicated.
after that shamini told me what happened.
i was so bloody pissed off tht shamini didnt tell the truth to her.
so i made her call and tell the truth.
and guess what?
SHE DOESNT BELIEVE IT.
whats up with her man?
rest of the day was spent worrying.
and waiting for 0430 to go and see her.
she was late.
she didnt even turn up larh please.
so we left after waiting for about an hour.
and suddenly, i hear tht shes in tiong bahru with tht person.
so juz imagine how fucked up i feel right now.
how am i gonna sleep tnite?
she can trust me, thats one thing for sure.
whatever she told me, i didnt tell shamini.
i honestly didnt.
and i wont lie to her.
when she asked me if i said anyth, i said no.
coz i really didnt.
but that shamini didnt tell her the whole story of it all.
anw, the fact tht she asked shamini if i told her anyth or no tells me tht she doesnt trust my words in the first place.
baby you should've known better.
shamini's a good friend.
but im sorry i cant be juz as good to her.
coz i love H more than shamini.
and ive already told her that.
so it juz makes me jealous to see them close.
and why the hell must she be upset if shamini doesnt like her?
oh man, can someone please tell me whats happening?

09 August 2006

7:09 PM

happy national day everyone.
watching national day parade now.
national day celebrations at school was awesome.
hazie and i wore the same tee.
we had fun.
the show was simply fabulous.
haha. -winks
didnt go out and stuff after sch.
had to send mummy off at the airport.
she went off to india on a business trip.
after she left, i felt so alone.
kept thinking abt H.
i so badly wanted to see her larh.
and i wish she'd invite me over to her place or smth.
since im all alone at home.
daddy's working afternoon shift this week.
tdae was pretty unproductive.
did one chpt of social studies.
and thats it.
gonna do amaths later tnite.
common tests suck man.
anw,
I MISS HER,
I MISS HER,
I MISS HER!

08 August 2006

8:59 PM

"My School Life is 68% Exciting"
Message:
Have You...

[x] hugged someone in school?
[ ] gotten a detention?
[x] cried in school?
[x] made new friends?
Total: 3

[ ] gone to a dance
[x] watched a football game
[x] watched a soccer game
[ ] watched a baseball game
[ ]watched a basketball game
Total: 2

[x] watched a tennis match
[ ] watched a softball game
[ ] watched a track meet
[ ] watched a volleyball game
[x] stood up for someone being made fun of
Total: 2

[x] broken up with someone during school?
[ ] argued with a teacher?
[x] got a 100% on a test?
[x] walked to school
[x]drove to school / droven by to school
Total: 4

[x] got dropped off at school?
[x] heard a rumor about yourself?
[x] gone to school under the influence?
[x] did something illegal at school?
[x] missed school when you weren't sick?
Total: 5

[x] failed a test
[x] failed a subject
[x] made up an excuse for homework not being done?
[x] the teacher believed your lame excuse?
[x] crushed on a teacher?
Total: 5

[ ] hit on a teacher?
[x] hate a teacher?
[ ] was involved with a sport?
[ ] on student council?
[x] in a club
Total: 2

[ ] got a scholarship?
[x] got an award?
[x] fallen asleep in schoo?
[ ] gotten into trouble for falling asleep in class
[x] had your phone go off in class
Total: 3

[x] had your phone taken away?
[x] lied to a teacher?
[x] laughed so hard you cried in class
[ ] eaten lunch in the bathroom?
[ ] missed a week of school or more at once
Total: 3

Do You/Are you/Did You/Will You?...
[x] enjoy school?
[x] excited for summer
[x] taking summer school?
[x] have a summer job?
[x] going somewhere?
Total: 5

Now add it all together and multiply by 2.
"My School Life is 68% Exciting"

uhm, my school life is certainly more interesting than that.
all thanks to her.

07 August 2006

10:20 PM

haha. (:
she came late tdae.
when she finally came, it was juz fabulous man.
i mean, she was looking fabulous.
haha.
nothing much happened tdae though.
i was juz admiring her beauty.
and torturing pple by asking them how can there be someone so beautiful.
after school, went to lot1 with hazie.
made her buy the tee that i bought a few days ago.
then ate at LJS.
and bought ANOTHER bag.
i am spending a lot man.
no work done for the past few days.
im gonna start revision tmrw.
anw, i get so happy when "esther" calls me "H".
haha. ;D

05 August 2006

11:29 PM

im so pissed off rite now.
how can pple who dont even know her talk abt her?
G told A abt her.
that shes awful and stuff.
i already had my doubts abt it man.
and it came true.
told her to please stop it.
and well, she agreed so yeah.
anw, tdae was pretty unproductive.
did some hmwk.
and went off to shop, shop and shop.
bought new undergarments.
then bought new vintage tees.
and stuff like that.
there is a hole in mywallet man.
im going town tmrw.
shopping again.
need to go get some roxy stuffs.
havent got any revision done.
and im really starting to worry now.
sofia's like, done with evrything?
and i havent even finished my hmwk.
okay larh, my bed's calling out to me.
nites then. (:

11:29 PM

04 August 2006

9:13 PM

what a tiring day.
2 periods of emaths.
then 2 periods of amaths.
then 2 periods of physics.
what a day man.
thank goodness she smiled in the morning.
or else, i would have slept coz of the 6 periods.
her smile kept me going.
got back amaths test tdae.
passed the test but i expected more i guess.
coz i studied heard what.
chem test tdae was tough man.
i think im gonna fail. ):
oh shucks, its the weekends.
2 DAYS, 48 HOURS, 2880 MINS!
i cant see her for THAT long man.
hazie was being gross tdae.
kept demonstrating to me how R would have sex.
and i was DAMN BLOODY GROSSED OUT.
she didnt stop at all.
i asked her to demo how H would.
haha, but she didnt.
maybe shes afraid i'll get too high.
hahah.
im counting down man.
how long more to go for school?

02 August 2006

9:21 PM

XD
haha, im very happy tdae.
wasnt feeling well in the morning.
went to sick bay.
then i was abt to go back home.
at that time, hasinah msged.
she told me H had come.
so decided to go afterall.
and luckily i went man.
or else i wouldnt have gotten the chance to see her do the stuffs she did.
she was so beautiful.
so beautiful, it cannot be described in words.
the way she was singing and dancing and fooling around.
anw, she gave me food!
haha, i had no heart to eat it.
so ended up throwing it away.
): at least ive got a pic of it.
and its the best meal ive ever had. (though i didnt eat it)
at one point, she thought we were, or rather i was, taking video of her.
puh-lease larh.
i was kinda pissed actually.
but she made up for it by waving at me when she was going back home.
and i felt like i was flying through heaven.
you know, that feeling i always have.
like being high on drugs.
dont worry H, i'll not do anyth you do not like.
anw, hope she'll talk LOTS AND LOTS to me tmrw.
haha.
thank you so much baby.
i love you.

01 August 2006

3:05 PM

what are your songs?
1) Put your music player on SHUFFLE.
2) Press forward for EACH question.
3) Use the SONG TITLE as the answer to the question.
4) NO CHEATING.
The questions and my answers:
1. How am I feeling today?
On The Way Down - Ryan Cabrera [not really]
2. When will I get married?
LaLa - Ashlee Simpson [haha!]
3.What is my best friend's theme song?
Revolution - The Veronicas [quite true?]
4. What is/was highschool like?
In The End - Linkin Park [OHMYGOD!]
5. What is the best thing about me?
Not Gonna Get Us - T.A.T.U [if i can have her in the 1st place]
6. How is today going to be?
Tangled Up In Me - Sky Sweetnam [no please don't!]
7. What is in store for this weekend?
I Promise - Stacie Orrico [another weekend promising i'll be thr for her]
8. What song describes my parents?
Leave Me Alone - The Veronicas [uh, i dont think so]
9. How is my life going?
True - Ryan Cabrera [yeah okay]
10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Beautiful - Christina Aguilera [i hope so]
11. How does the world see me?
Secret - The Veronicas [perhaps?]
12. What do my friends really think of me?
Heavily Broken - The Veronicas [i dnoe?]
13. Do people secretly lust after me?
Check On It - Beyonce Knowles [haha]
14. How can I make myself happy?
Catch Your Wave - The Click Five [true in a way]
15. What should I do with my life?
Let Me Love You - Mario [omg, yes, pls let me love you]
16. Will I ever have children?
All About You - Mcfly [?!?]
17. What is some good advice?
Break Away - Kelly Clarkson [its not happening]
18. What do I think my current theme song is?
Bonnie and Clyde - Jay Z & Beyonce Knowles [uhm, no]
19. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Temperature - Sean Paul [maybe when i see her, haha]
20. What type of men/women do you like?
Speechless - The Veronicas [how true!]
21. Will you get married?
Get Out - Jojo [does it mean i wont?]
22. What should I do with my love life?
We Believe - Good Charlotte [i'll believe then]
24. Where will you live?
Leave Right Now - Will Young [?!?]
25. What will your dying words be?
Scars - Papa Roach [most probably i think]

it was fun doing this. (:

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